Updated: Mar 24, 2019
Have you ever experienced something like this? “I can’t believe you told them. That was a private conversation!”
You’re furious because you voiced some concerns about your boss to a coworker and thanks to their loose lips, everyone, including your boss, know what you said.
Though many have experienced trust violations, one major casualty of coming from a broken home is a fear of trusting people. So it’s natural to flinch when thinking about sharing our parental-divorce related stuff.
However, as I mentioned in the last blog, sharing is very important if we don’t want the anxiety, anger, and frustrations we experience to taint our relationships and marriage. The good news is strong confidant candidates are out there, but we need to qualify them properly. Here are some desired qualities.
has your best interest at heart—by using biblical truth to judge what’s best for you encourages and affirms your willingness to share your burden maintains confidentiality, but doesn’t condone immoral or illegal activities serves as a sounding board—mostly listening, asking a few questions, and offering biblical advice remains objective—sees through any bias caused by your closeness to the situation exhibits sensitivity, but doesn’t choose sides challenges you to dig past the surface issues to the deeper emotions is not a person of the opposite sex (unless it is your spouse or boyfriend/girlfriend) should only be a family member if they meet the criteria above.
Does this type of person exist? Yes!!!! Hopefully it is your spouse or boyfriend/girlfriend, but if not, your confidant is out there if you keep searching.
The Bible says, “Commit your way to the Lord, trust also in Him, and He shall bring it to pass.” *
Seek God in prayer and write down some potential confidants.
Pray over your list and approach the person you believe God is leading you to.
Explain to them what you’re looking for and why. Gauge their interest and meet with them a couple of times as a test.
A good confidant is invaluable. Speaking with someone you trust greatly increases your ability to deal with family drama and situations that will come up this holiday season. Take a step of faith and reach out for that special friend today.
* Psalm 37:5, NKJV